10/20/22
I kept waiting for that moment. You know the one, the one where she wakes up one day and it magically doesn’t hurt anymore. The moment where she finally lets him go.
Years for me to realize that moment was actually a series of small seconds, fusing together in time. That second when cracks heal to fractures. The ones that now only ache a little when your memory rains down harder than usual. The second where I remember the look in your eyes when you didn’t want me, and replace it with the feeling I had when I accepted that was okay. The second I decided my respect for myself was stronger than my love for you. The second I replaced grief with acceptance and emptiness with joy. The second I stopped decoding the words between the lines and simply read what was on the page. When I started seeing the darkness as an opportunity to view the stars, rather than a hole to rock bottom. The instant I chose a love I could write poems inspired by euphoria, rather than heartbreak. All these seconds, these instants in time, making up the moment I finally let you go.
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